the list

Over the last year or so, I've come to see that the definition of love that I grew up with was not a healthy one. So I'm defining my terms. This list is what I've found so far in my search for a healthy definition of love. I will add and edit along the way. This list has been informed by my own experiences, books, talks with friends, and feminist theologians & theorists.

Love is empowering.
Love is life-affirming.
Love is presence.
Love embraces an individual's agency and autonomy.
Love is community.
Love is healthy boundaries.
Love is anger at injustice and abuse.
Love protests against injustice and abuse.
Love does not have unequal power dynamics.
There is no hierarchy or domination in love; rather, love requires mutuality.
Love is listening & being a witness to the pain of others.
Love is liberating.
Love is healing.
Love maintains dignity and personhood.
Love does not seek to manipulate or control. 
Love embraces individuals where they are at.
Love requires truth-telling.
Shame cannot exist in the presence of love.
Love requires accountability.